How I Won the Love Lottery (and you can too)

Although I’m single now, I feel like I have more love in my life than I’ve ever had before ...

I feel like I won the Love Lottery!

This is a pretty big deal for me, because it wasn’t so long ago, that I struggled with depression, self-hatred and even suicidal thoughts.

If it is possible for me to cultivate great love and happiness, then I think it is possible for anyone.

Love is really about feeling deeply connected – to others, and to the world.

You don’t need a romantic partner to feel it. You just need to open your heart.

What allowed me to open my heart to love, 
was practicing the 5 tips that I’m sharing with you.
This is my Valentine’s Day gift to you.

1. LOVE YOURSELF
2. STOP PUTTING LIMITS ON LOVE
3. BE CREATIVE
4. SHARE YOUR PASSION
5. BE KIND

    1. LOVE YOURSELF

Isn’t it disappointing when others don’t give you the kind of love that you would most like to receive?

You can’t control what other people do. If there’s something you want, you’d better do it for yourself.

Are you treating yourself well? Are you taking care of yourself and your life?

Give yourself the love and kindness that you desire and deserve!

Are the thoughts that you direct toward yourself loving and kind?

Or do you have an Inner Critic who is hell-bent on attacking you? Pay attention to when this Inner Critic starts bad-mouthing you, and shut it down! 

When you love yourself, you take good care of yourself. You look after your health and well-being, your body, mind, surroundings and belongings. You seek out and cultivate happy healthy relationships, and walk away from those who don't support you.

Caring for yourself makes you feel strong and vibrant so you are up for the challenges, and able to help others.

   2.    STOP PUTTING LIMITS ON LOVE

If love means feeling deeply connected to others and to the world, then that means that love is limitless.

Why must we define love so narrowly, that we believe it must look a certain way, act a certain way, come in a certain package, or happen in a certain series of events?

We’re all familiar with the Hollywood and fairy tale fantasy of love and romance – complete with the kiss and “happily ever after” with the Princess and Prince Charming.

In this fantasy, both Prince and Princess merge with “The One” – their soul mate for life, who will be their eternal source of all love.

This is a cute fantasy, but it’s only one, super simplistic, concept of love.

What if, instead of searching to find love in “The One”, you sought to find love in “The Infinite” – seeking to find a love connection with every person you meet?

What if you aspired to love:

not just one other person, 

not just members of your family, 

not just friends, but 

the entire world? 

... including animals, plants, mountains and oceans, the stars, moon, and all of Nature, and all of existence?

It may sound radical, but this is the love I seek.

This is mystical love, universal love, or some might call it spiritual love.

And no, I haven’t gotten there yet! Not even close. I fail every single day.

But I’m working on it! I have my moments.

I've discovered that, just by opening your heart to this potential, it is possible to feel a constant flow of love in your life . . . which you will never get from focusing on just one other person.

Challenge your heart by loving more every day!

Here is an experiment to try:

Before going to sleep, visualize your heart shooting laser beams of love in all directions. These laser beams will strike other people in the heart, and bounce back at you!

See what happens in the next couple of days.

   3.    BE CREATIVE

Your creative self might sing, write poetry, act, tell jokes, dance, cook, sew, tell stories, build a house, start a business . . .

In creative mode, all your senses come alive. You become a sensual, feeling, perceptive and receptive, complete human being with a unique gift.

You allow others to see your true spirit, which is necessary to make authentic, loving connections.

Everyone is creative in some way. If you don’t feel creative, you just haven’t given yourself enough opportunity to explore that part of you, and find the mode that is your own unique creative expression. 

Start learning about yourself! Experiment, explore, try something new!

   4.    SHARE YOUR PASSION 

Whatever it is that you love – share it with others.

Connect with other people who appreciate the same things you do. 

Create your community.

Inspire each other, teach each other, support each other. 

This is your tribe. You need each other.

   5.    BE KIND

You aren’t the only one who wants love and connection.

Out in the world there is a sick person who wants a comforting touch; 
a homeless person who would like a genuine smile; 
a child who needs words of hope and encouragement;
a friend who needs someone to listen.

It doesn’t take a lot on your part to brighten a person’s day, or even change a life.

All it takes is kindness.

photo by Abdulhamid Al Fadhly

Let your own heart be the greatest source of love in your life. 

Watch it open and grow like a flower, and see what happens.

Happy Valentine's Day!

How do YOU create more love in your life? Please comment below!

Your Presence Is the Best Present

moonlit elven magic

photo by doctor oblivious

(that's me in the photo on last year's Winter Solstice, 

spinning lights around the full moon!)

What is the greatest gift you can give to others?

Do you think you can buy it in a store, or online?

Is it a thing?

The best present is your presence.

In this world full of technology, distraction and multi-tasking, giving your full attention is a very rare experience.

Anything that is worth doing, is worth doing with your complete attention. 

If you are driving, just drive, and keep the road safe. 

If you are cooking a dish, put good intentions into it, and it will taste wonderful. 

However, if you are distracted, with your mind elsewhere, you could make mistakes, you could mess things up, or you could miss out on something important that someone is saying.

 

My friend Tom always says: "Be here now." 

And sometimes he also says: "Just be."

It sounds so simple, but it's actually very difficult. 

The mind likes to distract us and scatter our attention every which way. We like to feel important, with so many things to think about. 

But the most important thing is being right where we need to be right now, doing the thing we are doing. And if what we are doing isn't important, than maybe we need to examine why we do it at all.

When you're having a conversation with another person, do you feel the difference between when they are truly listening to you and responding to what you say in a thoughtful way, and when they are playing with their phone, texting, thinking of other things, or tuning you out?

Which way do you prefer to be treated? 

Which way makes you feel honored and important?

I'm working on bringing more of myself (attentive, present, open, honest) to every interaction, and as I do that, I feel others responding positively and in similar fashion. 

Relationships improve, bonds strengthen, and communities form this way.

Being present is the gift I give to myself and others.

Creative Collaboration

Lovebirds

watercolor by Rosa Phoenix

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."  

- Jean Anouilh

A few months ago, in the Fall of 2012, I partnered with the City of Phoenix, Arizona to teach free and low-cost art classes at senior centers.

My first experience teaching, it is the most wonderful collaboration.

Most of my students are beginners. Many have physical disabilities, or are recovering from illness, injury, trauma and grief.

They come to class with an open mind and heart. 

They are shy and embarrassed, because they don't yet know how to draw or paint. 

They are drawn to my classroom because something in them wants to create, express the beauty around them and within them, and to learn the skill of the artist. 

They know instinctively, that creative expression is their birthright as humans.

"We can do better than I can."

- Lykke Li

I think the highest form of creativity is collaboration.

The spark of energy exchange that happens when two or three or more share their ideas, is so much greater than what one person can accomplish alone.

That's why I love teaching so much.

To be able to share my love of art, and to teach people the skills to create their own works of art, makes my heart happy.

My students greet me shyly and say, "I can't draw," or "I can't paint." 

Within half an hour, they are happily drawing or painting, and watching themselves do it with amazement.

Their sense of sight, and their observation skills awaken. 

Suddenly, they are looking around them at their familiar world, now rich with colors, shapes and shadows that they had never noticed before. "It's beautiful!" they say.

Their ordinary world becomes an extraordinary world, because they now have an artist's vision.

Lotus Pond

acrylic painting 

by Rosa Phoenix

Wouldn't it be wonderful, if we could live this way every day?

We can . . .

. . . be the student, with open mind and open heart, willing to learn, willing to improve, aspiring to a higher expression . . .

. . . be the teacher, willing to share the skills and knowledge with others . . .

In my daily work, I do both, teaching and learning, sharing and collaborating.

My students continually inspire me with their dedication and motivation. They inspire me   because they make so many contributions themselves: volunteering, teaching and giving, with all their hearts.

We share our best selves with each other. Let's keep doing this, and uplift the world.

Are you a Visionary? Use Visualization techniques to turn your dreams into reality

 photo by Rosa Phoenix

Are you a Visionary? Are you using the powerful mind technique of Visualization?

Visualization is a buzz word that I've been hearing a lot about lately. It's a technique that visionaries, artists and creative people use naturally to produce great works of art and inventions. It's also a technique that many successful people use to set and achieve goals.

I was searching online for a good explanation of visualization, and I wasn't able to find one easily. So I wrote a short, simple summary of how to use this technique. This is available at 365 Just Show Up, Dr. Audrey Low's blog about creativity and the daily practice.

If you are interested in learning about visualization, please follow the link to the article here:


Are you a Visionary? How to use the power of Visualization @ 365 Just Show Up

Turn Resistance into Momentum

 photo by Cheryl Empey

In my last post I wrote about Overcoming Resistance.

The flip side of resistance is momentum. 

What I was surprised to learn is that resistance and momentum are the same energy.  

Momentum is making resistance work for you rather than against you.

Let me explain with an example from my own life. 

I've been learning about resistance from my own recent experience of joining a gym for the first time. 

As we know, resistance means "opposing force." I have a lot of mental resistance to exercise due to my "lizard brain"--the part of me that wants to conserve energy and stay inert.

And we know that there is a physical law for this: An object at rest tends to stay at rest. (Newton's first law of motion)

My lizard brain would like nothing better than to stay at home, lounge around in comfort, and avoid any physical exertion or potential embarrassment that would be caused by going to the gym. 

Remember, I didn't know anything about the gym. I had built it up in my mind as a scary place filled with weightlifters on steroids, aerobics queens in fluorescent spandex outfits and strange equipment that resembles torture devices! As a non-athletic person, the gym is totally out of my comfort zone.

Yet, I overcame my resistance and went to the gym. I went with my mom, who is also non-athletic. Seeing the positive effects of regular exercise on my mom (increased energy and better heath) created the desire within me as well. Going with her made it much less scary.

I was surprised to discover that not only is it bearable to go to the gym, it is actually a lot of fun for me! 

I went to the aqua aerobics class and had fun jumping, kicking and splashing in the water. I had fun in Zumba class. And I even have fun using the "torture device" machines, because I am getting my blood pumping and I get an endorphin rush, which causes a natural high. 

I feel satisfaction, knowing that I am getting stronger every day.

As I learn about exercise, I learn about resistance (opposing force). 

The most effective exercise will use resistance to build up your strength. 

For example, in aqua aerobics, the water provides the resistance. With regular aerobic activity, gravity provides the resistance. With weights and machines, weight provides the resistance. By progressively taking on more resistance or weight, your muscles will become stronger over time.

I learned about momentum by exercising at the gym. Once I get my body moving, I want to keep moving, and it's hard to stop!

Newton's laws of motion

1. Every body remains in a state of rest or uniform motion unless it is acted upon by external unchallenged force.

2. The body of mass subject to force undergoes an acceleration that has the same direction as the force and magnitude directly proportional to the force and inversely proportional to mass.

Momentum is Law #2. Once you get moving, the energy and force gets behind you to naturally keep you moving.  

So, once you overcome resistance, put the initial force or effort into doing something and get the action going, momentum takes over, and the rest will seem easy. It will seem as if it is happening on its own. 

I have found this to be true in every situation where I have experienced resistance. Once I get moving, it almost takes care of itself.

What are some ways you achieve momentum? Do you have examples of momentum in your life?

The Red Book by Carl Jung

image from the Red Book, courtesy of amazon.com

Here is a book that has a legendary past: psychologist Carl Jung's personal record of his visions, documented in calligraphic text and color illustrations, called the Red Book.  

Jung's family has kept this private volume locked up for decades, and finally it is being published.

The original is now on view at the Rubin Museum of Art (one of my favorite museums in New York, a mysterious treasure box of ancient Himalayan art). 

The museum is posting pictures of the pages on its website, as each page is turned.

This is a good thing because this is an expensive book with a list price of $195! Amazon has it at a discounted price of $114.07.

The Red Book at Rubin Museum of Art

The Red Book on Amazon.com

Carl Jung on Wikipedia