Coyotes Sketch

coyotes

sketch by Rosa Phoenix

On my hike today I saw, and heard, many coyotes. They were singing, howling and barking in the desert mountains at sunset.

Their song has a haunting and eerie sound. If you've ever heard them, you know what I mean!

Earlier this year I made a sketch from my memory of three coyotes singing.

Where I live in Phoenix, Arizona, there are many nature preserves with hiking trails, where you can see beautiful plants and animals of the desert.

 

What's Holding You Back?

Rose

pencil drawing by Rosa Phoenix

In my work as an art instructor, I hear it all the time:

"I'm not an artist."

"I'm not good at art."

"I can't draw / paint / make art / be creative."

Recently an elderly lady told me that when she was a very young child, she had loved creating art! 

But when she got to kindergarten, she saw that many of the other kids there were much better at it than she was. 

As a result of comparing herself to others, she stopped drawing and making art.

I thought this was incredibly sad.  

The poor woman had stopped doing something that she enjoyed, and had deprived herself of this activity for more than 60 years, because her inner critic told her that she wasn't good enough, at the age of 5! 

Unfortunately, we got interrupted, just when I was about to tell her that drawing is a skill that anyone can learn and improve, at any age. 

The lady walked away, and I went to teach my class of people who (thankfully) know better than to let their inner critic stop them from doing what they want to do!

 

Life is short, and it goes by quickly.  

We make plans for a future "someday", but things often happen to thwart our plans.

What are you putting off for a future someday, that you could be doing today? 

 self portrait

ink drawing by Rosa Phoenix

 

Let me tell you about myself.

I was born an artist. As a child I drew and painted all the time. I dreamed of being an artist, and I was supported and encouraged by my family.

The voice of my inner critic was very strong, however. 

Although other people thought my art was good, to me it never measured up to the vision I had in my mind. The defects I saw in my art stood out and created a feeling of shame within me. 

I won prizes for my art when I was a teenager, but it wasn't enough to overcome my sense of inadequacy. 

I didn't think I was good enough to pursue art further, and so I stopped painting and drawing.

I moved to New York City to attend university, and there I found myself surrounded by many artists. I felt overwhelmed by the talent around me. 

Comparing myself to others, I felt like I was out of my league. I kept my artistic side hidden, and did other things. I studied writing and literature, but, just as with art, I lacked the confidence to pursue it.

After university, I ended up working in offices, working overtime to just get by. 

I frequently burned out, growing bored by the routines, drained by the long hours, irritated by office politics, meetings, and spending all my energy doing work that I cared little about.

I had the idea that I could "moonlight" and do my creative work during my free time, but at the end of the day I was so tired I just wanted to eat and sleep, and then I'd wake up and do the same thing all over again.

I watched my childhood dream of being an artist get crushed in the gears of the corporate machine. 

The combination of workaholism, lack of self-care, and grasping at various mind-numbing activities and substances to distract myself from feeling the pain of my existence . . . led to a crisis with my health. 

I became extremely weak and sick, and was diagnosed with autoimmune disease.

If I continued on this path, I would literally die.

I couldn't avoid any longer. I had to face my pain, my pushed-away dreams and my fears.

I began making art again because I had to.  

"I'm not good enough" didn't matter anymore. My spirit needed to do it. 

Making art helped to heal me when I was sick, sad, depressed, grieving and confused. 

I didn't care anymore that my drawings were bad, from having not practiced for 15 years. Drawing soothed me when I was nauseous from medication, when I was having anxiety attacks, and when my heart was racing and I was afraid I would die.

As I began to recover slowly from my illness, and re-discovered my love of art, my re-awakened creativity blossomed. Beautiful visions and ideas began to pour out of me like a fountain.

There was a person in my life who was very close to me, and often when I shared my dreams, ideas or art, he would criticize it, or he would say "You can't do it."

As I grew stronger, I began to believe in myself and have more confidence. 

Art became my passion once again. 

I created in spite of my inner critic, and in spite of my loved one who was a critic also.

My father died suddenly and unexpectedly, and this shock sent me the message that life is not meant to be taken for granted. Life is meant to be lived, and not wasted doing things that don't matter to me.

My father left me an inheritance. I spent this money to go back to school, to learn digital arts, and I taught myself graphic design from books. I bought a computer and art supplies, and rented a small private art studio where I could paint, design and make things.

I wanted to make art my life. I felt that I had already died in my life, when I got sick, and now I was being given the chance to start over. 

It was like a rebirth, and for this reason I re-named myself Rosa Phoenix -- for the bird who rises from its own ashes. 

As I was growing and changing so rapidly, I got feedback from other people in my life. Some positive, and some negative. Some people seemed uncomfortable, envious or threatened by the changes in me and the shift in my priorities and attention. 

These people didn't support my growth or my new vision of myself and what I wanted my life to be. Including my closest loved one.

I had to let my old life go. Even the people I loved, I had to let go, in order to grow.

It wasn't easy. It was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do.

I won't let anyone hold me back now, including myself. 

 dream of running

ink sketch by Rosa Phoenix

The rewards have been so great. Art is worth all the pain and difficulty I've been through.

Now I work as a teacher, helping others to discover and express their own creativity. I'm able to affect many lives in a healthy and positive way. I'm staying healthy myself. I'm being true to myself.

I'm proud of myself, for surviving, and for accomplishing many wonderful things. 

I'm incredibly grateful for the life I have today. It's my life, the one I've always dreamed of.

I feel like a lucky person. I am thankful to be alive and to have been given another chance to follow my dreams.

Believe in yourself. Follow your dreams. Live the life you yearn to live. 

Don't let anything, or anyone, hold you back.

Don't worry that you aren't good enough. 

There are people who need you to share your unique gifts. 

Teach them what you know, and they will go from there.

  

Present

Copy of Venus, Satyr and Cupid by Correggio

 

pen and ink drawing by Rosa Phoenix

on letterpress paper

I was looking through an art book of masterpieces of the Louvre Museum. 

I found some letterpress stationary paper and made the drawing on it. 

I took a photo of the drawing with my iPhone, and then I edited and filtered the image in the Camera+ app.

Creative Collaboration

Lovebirds

watercolor by Rosa Phoenix

"Love is, above all, the gift of oneself."  

- Jean Anouilh

A few months ago, in the Fall of 2012, I partnered with the City of Phoenix, Arizona to teach free and low-cost art classes at senior centers.

My first experience teaching, it is the most wonderful collaboration.

Most of my students are beginners. Many have physical disabilities, or are recovering from illness, injury, trauma and grief.

They come to class with an open mind and heart. 

They are shy and embarrassed, because they don't yet know how to draw or paint. 

They are drawn to my classroom because something in them wants to create, express the beauty around them and within them, and to learn the skill of the artist. 

They know instinctively, that creative expression is their birthright as humans.

"We can do better than I can."

- Lykke Li

I think the highest form of creativity is collaboration.

The spark of energy exchange that happens when two or three or more share their ideas, is so much greater than what one person can accomplish alone.

That's why I love teaching so much.

To be able to share my love of art, and to teach people the skills to create their own works of art, makes my heart happy.

My students greet me shyly and say, "I can't draw," or "I can't paint." 

Within half an hour, they are happily drawing or painting, and watching themselves do it with amazement.

Their sense of sight, and their observation skills awaken. 

Suddenly, they are looking around them at their familiar world, now rich with colors, shapes and shadows that they had never noticed before. "It's beautiful!" they say.

Their ordinary world becomes an extraordinary world, because they now have an artist's vision.

Lotus Pond

acrylic painting 

by Rosa Phoenix

Wouldn't it be wonderful, if we could live this way every day?

We can . . .

. . . be the student, with open mind and open heart, willing to learn, willing to improve, aspiring to a higher expression . . .

. . . be the teacher, willing to share the skills and knowledge with others . . .

In my daily work, I do both, teaching and learning, sharing and collaborating.

My students continually inspire me with their dedication and motivation. They inspire me   because they make so many contributions themselves: volunteering, teaching and giving, with all their hearts.

We share our best selves with each other. Let's keep doing this, and uplift the world.

Profile of a Young Man

watercolor pencil sketch

by Rosa Phoenix

I've been going to life drawing / painting sessions, to learn how to draw the body and face. 

It is so challenging to draw from life, rather than copying photographs or other artwork.

It took three attempts to get a good likeness of this young man. I was really happy to be able to get the profile view. 

I struggle with drawing people, but it's gratifying to see that I am getting better, each time I go.

Future Vision

sketchbook page

pen and ink sketch 

by Rosa Phoenix

"I keep having this vision, where I am walking out into the desert."

This is a page from my sketchbook, one month before I moved to Arizona, in 2011.

At the time, it was vision into the future. This vision is now my reality.

It's interesting to look back at past sketchbooks, and see records of my thoughts, dreams and things that I was seeing at that time in my life.

Blue Corn

Elote

pen and ink drawing

by Rosa Phoenix

The Hopi people have a story, that when all the races of people were created, each were allowed to choose their own food. The Hopi waited until the end, to make their choice, and chose the smallest ear of corn. The Creator told them that they had chosen wisely, for they had chosen the "true food." 

The Hopi still plant and grow corn on their land in Arizona today. The blue corn they cultivate is more nutritious than other varieties of corn.

A page in my sketchbook. 

When you draw, you learn to see how beautiful and miraculous the simplest things are.

Autumn Colors: Watercolor Painting Lesson

It's Autumn in Arizona! 

What better way to enjoy the changing season, than by walking in Nature, and seeing the autumn colors?

I took these photos on a hike to Horton Springs, near Payson, Arizona. 

Up in the mountains, the trees grow tall, and their leaves put on a spectacular display of color, illuminated in the sunlight!

the creek from Horton Spring

The change of seasons gives us a chance to reflect on the changes in our lives. 

It's a time to celebrate our growth and progress! 

Autumn is a colorful reminder that we can make a brilliant impact here on Earth.

I'm very excited about a new change for me this season: I'm teaching art classes!

I love it, because I am sharing the joy of creativity with others.  

*****

Here's a beginner's lesson in watercolor painting and color mixing, inspired by autumn colors:

First we learn about the color wheel. 

By mixing the three primary colors (red, yellow and blue) we can mix all the colors we need. Do you see the beautiful colors of autumn?

It takes just 3 steps to make our painting of autumn foliage:

Step 1

First we wet the paper, then start dabbing primary colors onto the paper. 

The colors mix together right on the paper. (This is called wet-on-wet technique in watercolor.) 

Then we let it dry.

Step 2

We use a cut piece of sponge, dip it in more paint, and dab the paint on the paper with the sponge.

Here is what it looks like, after we have added color with the sponge. Do you see how it creates texture?


Step 3

To finish the painting, just use a small paintbrush to make the tree limbs and branches. The brown color was mixed using all three primary colors: red, yellow and blue.

And we are done, in 3 easy steps!

Forest Path in My Sketchbook

Earth Day 2012: The World Mother's Story

I'm wishing you a peaceful Earth Day 2012.

To me, Earth Day is a sacred day. It's a day to celebrate all the beautiful experiences we have living on Earth.

My painting, World Mother, is my expression of my love of the Earth, and my desire to honor all Life.

I have never told my story of the World Mother and how she appeared to me. Rather, I have wanted each person to find the meaning in this image for himself or herself.

On this Earth Day 2012, I would like to share the story of how this image came to be created.

sketch of World Mother, 2006

This is the World Mother's first appearance in my sketchbook. 

This was a time of darkness, illness and grieving. I was physically sick and exhausted from fighting a battle with autoimmune disease, that had been going on for years. My father and grandfather had recently died.

I was sick of death, violence, disease. Wars were raging all over the world, horrific terrorist attacks were rampant, and the 2004 tsunami in Asia had killed hundreds of thousands of people in mere minutes.

I was also becoming more aware of great changes that were happening to the Earth: climate change brought on by pollutants, caused by industry; the destruction of forests and habitats; the poisoning of our water, air and soil.

I felt powerless to do anything, and sick that I was part of this chain of destruction.

On July 10, 2006, I had just heard a story in the news. It was a report of a gang of U.S. soldiers in Iraq who had committed a heinous crime on an Iraqi family. They had gone to a home, raped a girl living there, killed her and every single person in the house, including a baby, then set the house on fire. This attack had been planned out in advance.

This story made me cry. It made me feel that life in such a world is not even worth living. 

The World Mother appeared to me in a vision. This woman, this mother figure, appeared in my sketchbook as I was drawing, with the title "Weeping for the World."

She is weeping for all her children, cradling the Earth in her arms. She has created beautiful life, and yet her children cruelly destroy and ravage each other and everything on Earth.

 

The image of the World Mother has evolved. Her tears are gone and she watches over the Earth with serene and peaceful blessings. 

I know that she was created out of pain and darkness. I have made her into a healing and hopeful image, because I choose to shine a light in dark times. I want to show the potential of peace.

 

CD cover for Cyclub 

I am amazed by the responses I receive from people, when they see the World Mother.  They are seeing something that they recognize in their own heart.

Since I have painted the World Mother, I have made many connections with people, all over the world. This image, that I re-created to show Japan, is now the cover for Cyclub's CD, "Shining in Da Sun." The music on this CD was inspired by, and created for, Japan, after 2011's earthquake, tsunami and nuclear disaster.

The World Mother has truly changed me. Her appearance in my life was a true turning point that led me out of that dark place, into a path of hope. Since I painted this image, I have discovered that she is an archetype of Gaia, Mother Earth. I see her in images of the Virgin Mary, Our Lady of Guadelupe and works by many other artists.

My own personal World Mother continues to travel across the Earth and inspire people to cherish and hold sacred everything that is important to us.

I wish you and your family many, many blessings on this Earth Day 2012!

LINKS

Cyclub's Official Website

Inspired by Agnes Martin

mini paintings by Rosa Phoenix

I've returned to the desert where I grew up, in Phoenix, Arizona. 

The desert of the American Southwest has always attracted artists, 

who are drawn to the open skies, raw landscape, sculpted rocks and dazzling light.

A couple of years ago I visited the Dia Arts Center in Beacon, New York. There I encountered for the first time, the works of Canadian-born artist Agnes Martin (1912 - 2004).

Her paintings couldn't be simpler: stripes in the palest colors, painted on a pencil-drawn grid.

Gratitude

by Agnes Martin

In concept, it seems one-note and one-dimensional, but actually, to be in the presence of these paintings is a transcendent experience. It's not something that translates as a reproduced image. 

Paintings emanate with the energy and intentions of the artist.

A painting is a lot more than just colors on a surface.

 Agnes Martin gallery at

Dia:Beacon

photo by Bill Jacobson

I still keep Agnes Martin's paintings in my heart.

I learned that she lived and worked in Taos, New Mexico, just like another of my favorite artists, Georgia O'Keefe.

The desert is a harsh environment. 

It is a huge, open space that makes a person feel 

very small, insignificant and vulnerable.

How do you capture that sense of space? 

The desert invites a different kind of artistic approach.

Lots of decoration and embellishments don't work. Ornate patterns don't work. Realism doesn't work. 

I think the maxim "Less is more" applies here.

Agnes Martin had a particular genius for this.

Agnes Martin

Here in the desert, I'm clearing my mind.

As an exercise, I created my own works, inspired by my desert surroundings, and Agnes Martin.

Using some small, square canvases, I used masking tape and latex paints to create a series of striped paintings. Here are some in progress, with masking tape on:

mini paintings in progress 

by Rosa Phoenix

I used desert colors.

When I put them together as an installation on one wall of my room, I was pleased with the result. It is a suggestion, rather than a literal interpretation, of desert beauty. 

I wake up and see the colors of the desert. I see the sky, the clouds, the earth, the light. I see Indian blankets. I see the striated colors of the rocks. I see sunrises and sunsets.

 This wall of mini paintings keeps my mind clear and creative.

I like the rhythm of the stripes.

wall of mini paintings by Rosa Phoenix

I feel so inspired by the beauty that surrounds me. 

Like Georgia O'Keefe and Agnes Martin before me, I find myself challenged to create in a whole new way.

Here is a video interview of Agnes Martin, where she talks about the painting process. It is quite enlightening.